Thursday, August 15, 2013

Getting to the Start Line always the hardest part. So many things can go wrong leading up to race day that can derail perfectly laid plans.

This analogy rings true in regards to infertility too. In this case, I'm talking about my ability to adjust my outlook on the upcoming cycle. I'm really struggling over here...

I'd say we're within a week of starting the next cycle. (AF, you cruel bitch, don't make me sorry for saying that out loud!) I'm genuinely looking forward to the chance to try again. Yet I keep finding myself trying to convince my mind to be positive about September's cycle. I want to believe that our chances for success are improved enough to make the difference. I want to believe that the lap did the trick. Or that the injects are the piece of the puzzle that has been missing. But I keep falling short.

I can't override the thought that my "few spots of minimal endometriosis" probably aren't the reason why we haven't gotten pregnant yet. I can't shut out the thought that we responded "beautifully" to the clomid, so how will injects really give us an edge? I'm sure these two factors do make a difference, but I suppose that I'm not convinced that they'll make the difference. I suspect that these inject cycles with IUI will result in the same BFNs of the past...

But I haven't abandoned all hope. I'm still fighting to believe. (::singing: Don't stop believing! Hold on to that feeEEEeeeling!!::) And on top of it all, even if I'm "right" about this too... it won't be long before we can move onto a plan that I believe in my heart WILL work for us.

So, back to the grind. Time to pound the pavement, and fight to get to my start line. I know I will be a mom. I hope very soon.


  1. You will be a mommy very soon!!!

  2. We will both be mommies very soon!!! I am so proud of you and your outlook. Get back out there and pound that pavement. Let's both try and keep a positive outlook and be each other's cheerleaders through both our running and IF journeys. Oh, and I've been singing that song too :)