It took all my strength and will power not to run over to the window (only place where I get service) and check the message that instant. I was tempted, but didn't want to lose it in front of my students. One student was taking an especially long time packing up. I ran over to help him saying, "I don't want you to be late for lunch!" Gahhhhh!! Move it, move it, move it!!!
When I was alone, I ran over to the window, said a quick prayer, and then hit the button on my phone to listen to the voicemail. I listened for clues in Nurse Jessica's voice as she started her message... Does her tone sound like it's good news or bad? Please, please, please let this be good news. Her intro sounds all business like... or is that her pity voice? Oh, god, is she getting ready to say the worst news? Her pitch just dropped and her cadence just slowed. Please, please, please don't say the worst. Then her tone picked up about ten notches as she said, "I have really good news for you today!"
Our embryo is chromosomally normal!!! I started crying the second she said those words and didn't stop for about 30 minutes. I was so happy!! And it was like all of the stress from the past several months just came pouring out of me. I couldn't concentrate on the rest of Jessica's message (she was giving me instructions for our FET cycle. EEEEEEE!!!!! We're going to have a FET!!!!), so I saved the message and hung up the phone. I called John and told him the news (through tears again, he was so cute, he said he wished I wasn't crying. When will he get it that I cry when I'm happy?!?!).
There was much celebration and rejoicing. To be honest, we are still blown away, humbled, and head-over-heals happy about this news. We have a fully hatched grade 6C blastocyst with 46 normal chromosomes. This is the best news ever!!!
We will have a transfer in the future, and we are now praying that my uterus will become the perfect home/dojo/village for Frostie Ninja.
We plan to keep this part of our journey private for a while, and plan to update this blog on a significant delay. After all we've been through... 2 years of TTC, 1 year of aggressive treatments with the RE, 4 IUIs, a laparoscopy, 3 IVFs, endless blood, sweat and tears... so many tears... we are so happy to have this one blastocyst to show for it. But at the same time, there is so much pressure riding on this cycle, and on our precious Frostie Ninja. I can't think too far ahead, otherwise it sends me into a very negative, dark place as my mind races to the possibilities should this fail. I owe it to our embryo, my husband, and myself to be as calm and positive as possible. When people ask for updates and results, I know it is coming from a place of love and support. But it also adds a layer of stress and expectation on me, John & our embryo. For that reason, we have decided to keep this part of our life private for now. I promise to update you when we are ready & truly appreciate all of your prayers, love and support.
|Way to go, Frostie Ninja!! You aced your big test!!|
Please, please, please stick around little one!!