Monitoring #1

Today is CD9, and I'm on the estrogen phase of my FET cycle. My jaw dropped to the floor when the doctor told me my lining was Type I and 8.4mm during my ultrasound. I told him how that was the thickest my lining has ever, ever been. Then he measured again and said it was actually 9.5mm and "growing before our very eyes!" I couldn't help but to let a "holy shit" slip out! I was so surprised!!

My estrogen is 968 and my progesterone is 0.4. I am doubling my dose of Estradiol (2mg vaginally twice a day) and returning for monitoring on Tuesday. My transfer is scheduled with my doctor on Sunday, May 1st. I am SO EXCITED to meet one of my ninja squirrels. 15 days seems so far away!! How am I going to keep myself occupied until then?!

It has been a bit emotional around here. Partially because of the estrogen... but mainly because of the wounds from my losses and intense infertility history. From the time of Rosa's stillbirth to the time of our transfer, my womb will have been empty for eleven entire months... I just can't believe it's been that long. Last night, I had a wave of guilt overcome me thinking about another baby in Rosa & Robin's sacred space. The only place they knew life... How can I share that with another baby? I know that it's time to move forward, and I feel in my heart that Rosa and Robin would want us to be happy. They would want us to try for a sibling. And for the most part, I feel excited and ready. I just need to be true to my heart and feel what I'm feeling.

I miss you and love you, Rosa Kimberly and Robin Kay. Please look out for your brother/sister... best guardian angels out there <3