Friday, July 12, 2013

I am convinced...

I've been saying it for about a month now. These IUIs are not going to work. I didn't understand why, but after a lot of thought I have at least a theory to work with. Humor me.

We have been trying to fix something that isn't broken. I ovulate on my own. I have regular cycles. DH's numbers are great. Of course we are going to take things one step at a time (even though I've been prepared to cut to the chase with IVF from the beginning of our testing cycle). Naturally, our doctor recommended that we start with a less aggressive treatment plan, which is why we have been doing the clomid, ovidrel and IUIs. 

I believe that the issue is not the sperm nor the egg. I believe everything is where it should be when it should be. I believe the problem is my uterus. I've had an unsettled feeling ever since I learned that I have a Mullerian Anomaly. My uterus is all out of wack. It's tilted and arcuate and I probably have endometriosis.

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I am almost sure that I have at least a mild case of endometriosis. I present so many of the symptoms. I have had extremely painful periods and mid-cycle pain for as long as I can remember. The only time it got better was the 11 year period that I was on the pill... and then it gradually came back over the course of the past two years I've been off the pill. Now I'm on these meds that are causing my ovaries to work double-time. I'm overstimulated and hurting so badly. I'd be willing to bet that if there's endometriosis in there, that is making this whole experience that much more painful. 

That's it. I'm getting the lap. No more waffling on this decision. It is scary to me to go through a surgery and under anesthesia, but I will find the courage. I need to know what the hell is going on in there, and this is the only way to know with 100% certainty. As an added bonus, I can probably get a hysteroscopy at the same time and then confirm my arcuate uterus diagnosis. That peace of mind will be worth its weight in gold when the day comes that I actually see two pink lines.

My cross stitch project is coming along.
Mocha is demonstrating the ability to dream.
I was inspired by the piece to add a design to my pedicure. 


  1. I hope it has brought a certain measure of peace to have made the decision to go in for the lap. I'm someone who likes to know all the information I can, good or bad, I will deal with it, but the not knowing really gets me. Here's to hoping you get some good info and it can help shape the plan so you get to see those 2 lines soon! Sending good vibes to you :)

  2. I'm scheduled for a lap next week- good luck to you! I hope it is the solution you need to get pregnant (and for me as well!)

    1. Good luck!! Mine is scheduled for next week too! Hopefully this will give us both answers!