Thursday, June 11, 2015

Finding my Voice

I don't even know where to begin...

Rosa Kimberly was born sleeping on May 30, 2015.
She weighed 3 lbs 6 oz, measured 15 inches long, and was a perfect little angel.
Not exactly the birth announcement I envisioned... I miss her so much. I don't understand how this can be allowed to happen to anyone. It is truly the cruelest, most vile pain I have ever known in my entire life. 

What happened... the whole pregnancy was so scary. We felt like we were cheating the system the whole time. Like it was too good to be true. God, I wish we were wrong about that.

I think back to the past eight months... three years... so much has happened. My heart has filled with love until it ran over, and then been smashed to pieces so many times... I have lost count. Now, I feel like I am empty. Walking around with a huge hole in my chest where my heart used to be. It fills with hurt and sadness, darkness and despair. 

She was so beautiful. I cannot describe how beautiful her face was. 

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9 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 11, 2015 at 9:17 AM

    My heart aches for you, dear friend. Rosa fought a long fight. She knew how much her momma and daddy loved her. I am here for you, whether to talk, to not talk -- I am here. I think one night we should camp out and look for the star. I bet she's shining bright just for you and J. I love you both.

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    Replies
    1. RunDreamerJune 11, 2015 at 2:17 PM

      I love the idea of finding her star <3 Love you, Soley

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  2. AnonymousJune 11, 2015 at 10:58 AM

    A long time lurker whose heart really goes out to you and your husband at this time. I'm so very very sorry, and I wish there were words to convey how cruel and injust this is.

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  3. Trying to conceive a family...June 11, 2015 at 7:46 PM

    I'm so, so sorry for your loss Run. What agony it must be to have lost your beautiful daughter. She is so lucky to have you as her mommy. I have been checking in regularly to see an update and my heart just broke to read today that your precious Rosa was born sleeping. I am sending you my love and want you to know that both you and Rosa have touched so many lives. She was- is- a very special little girl xoxo

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  4. PackerFan4LifeJune 13, 2015 at 2:32 PM

    My heart is completely broken for you. Rosa was absolutely perfect, and I hate that you had such a short time with her. There are no words to describe the pain I feel for your loss. Sending you love and thinking of your sweet Angel today and every day <3

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  5. ChickinNHJune 14, 2015 at 5:18 AM

    Just so so much love to you and beautiful Rosa. You know I am here. ❤️🌹❤️

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  6. jaytee16June 14, 2015 at 8:29 AM

    I'm so sorry, dear friend. Your beautiful Rosa was so very beautiful, absolutely perfect. I'm so sorry you had to say good bye to her so soon. I'm thinking of you all and sending all my love and prayers ❤️🌹❤️

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