Thursday, June 11, 2015

Ethan's Mother

I went to the cemetery this afternoon to visit Rosa. It really is a beautiful place. It's more like a park than anything else. I see myself running there a lot in the future. 

When John & I went on Tuesday, we noticed that Rosa's 'neighbor' was a baby boy born last September. His grave had a tag with his name which said "Ethan DeRosa." We were instantly struck by the last name and its resemblance of our daughter's name. But simultaneously we also noticed the boy's first name: Ethan. When we thought Rosa was a boy, Ethan was my top choice for a name. Today, I noticed that Ethan's headstone was installed. It is beautiful. 

I brought a basket of rose petals and sprinkled them on Rosa's grave. Then I sat in the grass and showed her the cross stitch project that I started. 

I stitched for a little while and then put it away. I played 'our song' and sang to her. As the song was finishing, I noticed through my tears that a woman was parking her car and walking towards us. 

The woman was Ethan's mother. She was so kind. We shared our stories. She told me it gets easier. She gave me some flowers which she brought saying that she bought extra. She told me that she has never met anyone at the cemetery before. She is usually the only one there. 

I feel like it was meant to be for Rosa to be laid to rest next to Ethan. The significance of his name was enough, but to also give Margaret, his mother, and I the chance to meet... It's just beautiful. It was very comforting to talk to Margaret, to hear Ethan's story, to see his picture. It was difficult yet easy for me to tell her Rosa's story. We understood each other. One grieving mother to another. 


  1. What a sweet story. I believe in anything that brings comfort. This day is the start of anniversary dates for my stillborn son.I've been drafting a letter in my head to his nextdoor cemetery mate to ask her family to keep the shrub they planted between their headstones cut back. Do make it it cutesy and from Griffin, or just from me? It might surprise you to know that he was stillborn 22 years ago. I'm just as protective now as then. I think you and Ethan's mom will be very good friends. Im so,so sorry about Rosa. Beautiful name,beautiful baby.

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  3. I hate the circumstances that brought you together, but I'm so glad you were able to meet Ethan's Mom and share your stories. Thinking of you both and both of your beautiful, sweet babies. <3

  4. ❤️ I hope you and Ethan's mom will connect again.

    1. Thankfully we had the mind to exchange contact information & we have been in touch. She actually found my podcast!!

  5. What a beautiful story. It was meant to be that you met Ethan's mom and I have a feeling you will be long time friends. So sweet that you sing your song to Rosa. Made me tear up.