I am very much looking forward to making a podcast on April 19th. I've never made one before, so I'm really excited about playing with the microphones! I've seen pictures of my friend's studio, and it's impressive. I'm also looking forward to seeing my friend and hanging out a bit. We plan to record the podcast in the morning, and then go out to brunch. Then my friend will edit it and allow me to preview it. Mostly, I'm anxious to hear how the thing turns out so we can put it out there for NIAW! :)
I've been thinking long and hard about this, and am invested in making it perfect. I want to be careful to set up clear boundaries so as not to hurt anyone (including myself) with my bold statement. I have been working on a topic list for discussion, and also a list of topics that are absolutely off the table.
I will not be discussing anyone else's story, and will not mention anyone who I know IRL or through the internet. I will not mention this blog, the Dreamer group, or any of the online forums in which I participate. I will try to curb my vocabulary so as to not shock my Dear Aunt Sally with words like "vagina" or "dildo cam." (For the record, I really don't have a Dear Aunt Sally... wasn't that a way to remember some math thing that I've long since forgotten?!)
One topic that I'd like to focus on is how infertility has changed my life. The many sacrifices that I've had to make in the pursuit of this dream. I will certainly reference Resolve's website and hope that people check it out for the good information that is available there. I want to talk about the vast emotional palette that has gone along with my journey through the darkness. Selfishly, I want to clear my conscience of the 'lying' that I've been doing the past two years (like when I've had to answer questions, "When's the next big race?" "When are you going to have a baby?" and the generic, "How are you?").
I hope it turns out the way that I'm envisioning. In addition to the podcast, I will make one or two posts on my Facebook wall during NIAW. I will reference the Resolve website, and just make a brief statement that I'm 1 in 8. Anyone else out there who is struggling, you are not alone. I don't want this one topic to take over my world on Facebook (even though it has taken over my world in private), but at the same time I want to acknowledge that it is a very real part of my life.
Are you planning to publicly recognize infertility during NIAW? Have you already 'come out?' Are you going to stay in the closet about your own personal journey and support quietly (as I did for the past year)? Share your story!!