Friday, February 12, 2016

Rosa's Rose

**trigger/tissue warnings**

Well, I just ugly cried at Micheal's. 

My sister is a talented artist, so I gave her one of the handprints Rosa made at the hospital. She drew a gorgeous pink rose, used the green handprint as a leaf on the rose, and wrote out Rosa's full name in fancy script. It is breathtaking, and it was her Christmas gift to us this year. I cried on Christmas Day when I opened the gift, and have been waiting for a sale so we could get it custom framed (expensive!!!). There's a 60%+20% going on at Michael's this week, so I jumped on it.
I did a little shopping before heading back to the framing counter. I wanted colored pencils for my coloring book, and wanted to get a gift for my niece's birthday. I passed by the aisle with memory books... the baby books were on sale. Deep sigh.
After I got everything I was looking for, I went back to the framing counter. The young lady at the desk was very nice and helpful. I showed her the artwork, and she helped me to pick out a few options. As she was pulling samples, my eyes locked onto the artwork. I could not control myself... The tears just started flowing at the sight of the gorgeous piece. And the thought that this is my reality for Rosa. I don't get to fill a baby book for her... I get to make memorial pieces and mount them in fancy frames. I should be, and am, thankful that I have this beautiful piece of art... But it's just not enough sometimes. I want her. I want Rosa. I want to stroke her soft cheeks, and trace a heart on her face with my finger like I did at the hospital. I want to see that face grow up, and light up with a smile. It's just so, tragically, heartbreakingly unfair.

The framed artwork is going to be magnificent. I picked out the most perfect frame and had it triple matted. Even with the sale, the whole thing cost $260. I don't care about the dollar amount, though wouldn't it be nice to spend it on diapers instead? Sigh. I miss her. I will post a picture of the finished piece when it comes in on February 26th.


  1. So much love to you.
    I'm sure the artwork will be gorgeous and it will be so special to see her handprint displayed. But nothing can take away the unfairness/pain of not being able to hold that sweet hand. <3

  2. 1. You still look beautiful even with your ugly cry.

    2. The frame is absolutely beautiful and the picture -- girl, I am sure when I see it in person, I'll be ugly crying. Rita is so talented. I cannot wait to see her gallery in a few years.

    3. I love you!!! So much. And yes, we need to get our training in order. I can't wait to run out there with you. You are my solemate.


  3. I don't know what to say. My heart breaks for you. I am sure the artwork is amazing and I know it is such a wonderful tribute to your sweet girl. I think about you all often and am always sending so much love your way. <3