The estrogen is really wearing me down this time around. Not to mention all the triggers in every direction I turn. This morning's ultrasound was in the same room we ran to during our Week 6 Bleeding Scare with Rosa & Robin. I can't seem to make it through an hour without tearing up. It's been tough, but I'm doing my best to hang in there.
My lining is slowly and steadily coming along. It measured at 6.3mm Type II today. My ovaries are being a bit obnoxious, albeit harmless, with a 22mm hemorrhagic cyst on my right and 33 follicles less than 10mm. That many follicles is ironic for a lady with a DOR diagnosis.
My estrogen is at 128, progesterone 0.3, I return on Wednesday for more monitoring, and increase the estradiol to 2mg three times a day.
The anxiety is pretty elevated. I was a little rattled waiting for my nurse to call... by 3:00pm I started thinking my doctor would call me to tell me that I was getting canceled. That's just the paranoia thanks to my history talking. My nurse called at 4:00pm, and said everything looks great. I don't feel great.
I also realized that if things go along as we're hoping, then I will be PUPO on Rosa's birthday. I can't possibly describe the flood of emotions that comes along with that realization. I think about it, and my eyes well up (which is, again, ironic for a lady with a Sjögren's diagnosis).
I am obsessed with P!NK's song Beam Me Up and have been playing it on my guitar. It always makes me feel better to sing to my girl, even if it gets broken up with tears. I just miss her. I really hope that she's looking out for her siblings.
I really hope that now is the time to make her a big sister.