Finding my Voice

I don't even know where to begin...

Rosa Kimberly was born sleeping on May 30, 2015.
She weighed 3 lbs 6 oz, measured 15 inches long, and was a perfect little angel.

Not exactly the birth announcement I envisioned... I miss her so much. I don't understand how this can be allowed to happen to anyone. It is truly the cruelest, most vile pain I have ever known in my entire life. 

What happened... the whole pregnancy was so scary. We felt like we were cheating the system the whole time. Like it was too good to be true. God, I wish we were wrong about that.

I think back to the past eight months... three years... so much has happened. My heart has filled with love until it ran over, and then been smashed to pieces so many times... I have lost count. Now, I feel like I am empty. Walking around with a huge hole in my chest where my heart used to be. It fills with hurt and sadness, darkness and despair. 

She was so beautiful. I cannot describe how beautiful her face was.