Surrender

My new clinic offers a free yoga class on Saturday mornings, and I'm so glad I checked it out this morning. It was great!

I have never been very good with yoga. It is challenging for me to focus my mind when my body is still... I'm a marathon runner! I love movement, and for me, my mind is able to attain clarity and stillness best when my body is in motion. Nonetheless, I always try my best.

The yoga instructor made it a lot easier for me to connect to whatever it is you're supposed to connect to. She spoke of a few themes throughout the session, and here is what really resonated with me:

• Surrender - there is a difference between giving up on a goal and surrendering to it. When we are pushing so hard to reach a goal, we are operating more on our masculine energy and block out our feminine energy almost entirely. With surrender, we open ourselves up to whatever energy comes our way.

I LOVE this notion, and it really rings true in other areas of my life. I have always been such a goal oriented person. For a long time, it has always worked for me to put up my blinders and go hard after a goal with sheer determination and work ethic. This approach works well for many things (like earning my degrees, preparing for oboe recitals and music performances, and maintaining consistency in marathon training). However, there are certain situations that are so far out of our control... the more you force it, the more it seems to slip through your fingers. The best example I can think of in my personal life was my goal to break four hours in the marathon. It wasn't until I surrendered that I finally met this goal. I believe we must surrender to infertility in order to find peace while working towards a goal that may or may not be attainable.

• Grounding - we tend to give a lot of attention towards making a spiritual connection with a higher being or belief system. Our head and upper body is connected to the sky or God (depending on your spiritual beliefs), and our feet and legs are connected to the earth. We tend to forget about the connection to the earth and focus more on God. Interesting :)

• Shoulders harbor tension, lower back harbors fear - I have noticed lots of pinches in my lower back over the past several months... and I have also been extremely fearful thanks to the uncertain path we have been following. I will strive to acknowledge these emotions, and then let them go.