Clarity

Wow, last night I was in a complete rage. I was so upset by our crappy consultation with Dr. K, I couldn't think straight. I just needed some time to be pissed off, angry, and bitter.

I fell asleep on the couch and woke up around 1:00 in the morning. After moving over to bed, DH and I found ourselves unable to sleep. So we talked about the consult and made our peace with it.

We are too impressed with this clinic's embryology lab to let this one doctor turn us away. After thinking about what Dr. K was saying, I see that he wasn't saying no and that we are hopeless. He proposed a decent plan (actually almost identical to Dr. P's plan from Consult #1), he just had horrendous bedside manner. And is a lousy salesman. After the crazy fog lifted, I picked up the phone and scheduled a consultation with a different doctor in the practice. We shall see.

All things considered, if things don't pan out with the above-mentioned super clinic, we still have a really good option to explore with Dr. P. I have total confidence in Dr. P's plan for us. I'm just not so sure about his lab...

It's so hard. It shouldn't be this hard!! I resent almost everything about this journey... IF really breaks you down, and kicks you where it hurts over and over again. It's like our breaking point is a line in the sand... it might move from time to time, and we are constantly crossing back and forth. If infertility is consistent in one thing, it's consistently unstable.