Balance

It is something that at times has been elusive in my life, yet I strive to attain it. Whenever I find balance I feel so good; like there isn't anything I can't do. The problem I have is that my balance usually tends to be feast or famine, black or white, all or nothing.

Running has been the great equalizer in my life for so many years. Kristin Armstrong, a writer on Runner's World.com, puts it well in a recent blog: "When I forget who I am, I remind myself by finding my stride." Ah, yes, this rings true for me too. 

I met with Kristina this morning for a trail run at the Watchung Reservation. We are truly two birds of a feather. Even though we are both focused on different areas in our lives, the way we perceive the world is usually the same. Today our conversation was a constant stream of "I feel the exact same way" exclamations. 

Kristina & me finding our stride on the trails

Here are some of the epiphanies I had while on our run:

1. I am happiest when I feel my life is balanced.
2. Over the past year and a half, it has been a constant struggle to have balance in my life.
3. I am getting closer to finding balance under the current circumstances in my life. I am still in partial denial of all the realities that comes with IF, but I am starting to find peace and patience.
4. I have been struggling to find balance in my running now that I am not allowed to train for a marathon. This causes my whole life to feel even more off-center. I need to find a way to be happy within the one-hour-a-day limit. I am always open to suggestions!

Probably the most concrete realization I had today was that if this cycle is a bust (which I hope and pray it is not), I will go for a good, long run while I have my period. I'm talking about a 2-3 hour run up on Bear Mountain. I need to feed my craving to push my body, mind and soul to total exhaustion. 

Elevation Map from the North Face 50-Mile Ultramarathon

Yup... that would do it :-D